I'm Getting a CROWN!

"And for what?," you ask?

For my CAVITIES, that's why!

After several years dodging the dreadful visit to the dentist, I finally got up the courage to go. And only because I was convinced that I had A (as opposed to "several") cavity.

The dentist, who was very nice and seemed to be knowledgeable, tried to explain to me what a crown is. Technicalities aside, it all boils down to this: crowns are for people who are old and/or have bad teeth.

I was totally unconsoled by the fact that my dentist said 1) "all of the teeth he had were crowns" and that 2) "he got his first crown at 24."

If anything, the thought of having a dentist whose own front teeth are all crowns only made me more nervous. Should I really be putting my oral health in the hands of a dentist that doesn't know how to floss and/or doesn't brush his teeth often enough?

Trepidation aside, his second reason didn't ease my concerns either; after all, getting your first crown is not like getting your first period, a milestone celebrated by every young lady, excited about entering puberty and womanhood (only to find out that having your period every month sucks).

If anything, I'm one stop closer to toothlessness.

And get this: The "procedure" (deemed as such to disguise the shame I feel for having crowns put in) will cost me over $1,000 out of pocket! Even with insurance, which covers about 50% of it. The only bright side is that they'll give me laughing gas during the procedure (note that I'll have to pay extra for the laughing gas), which means I'll be laughing all the way to the bank--and my overdrawn account...literally.

So that was the perfect end to my "comcastic" (in honor of Comcast, responsible for my defunct Internet connection--hooray to unfairly exorbitant cable fees which forces people like me to pull the plug on cable!--I did it last night) day.