Xmas

It's been hard getting into the Xmas spirit this year. As I've told several people, the Holiday campaign is the worst thing Best Buy could ever do to us. Work has been crazy, with no sign of slowing down.

My sister and brother-in-law invited my family and his family over for Xmas. There was tons of food and a enough wine to make some of us a bit tipsy after the first hour. Charlie ended up busting out his rapper-wannabe moves, which was pretty hilarious.

We ate lots and opened presents afterwards. After the parents had gone home, we ended up playing "catchphrase," which is like that "Password" gameshow. It was fun.

Merry Xmas everybody!

Have Yourself a Very Chinese Xmas

With my dad gone for Xmas, Tim and I took my mom out on Friday night for dinner at Daniel's Broiler and a movie.

Dinner was good, and we went to see "Memoirs of a Geisha" at Pacific Place.

The director pretty much used the same cast from "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." I guess he figured moviegoers wouldn't notice that all the Chinese cast from "Crouching Tiger" all of a sudden became Japanese, and just as suddenly acquired the matching Japanese accent that made them said "pRease" (instead of "please") and "rife" (instead of "life"). I genuinely understand that the director wanted to make the movie more "real" by doing that, but the damn accent made it hard to understand what the characters were saying. I think he should have either done it all in Japanese with subtitles for authenticity's sake (which I know would be impossible in this case, since the cast was, as I mentioned above, Chinese, NOT Japanese) or in English, so that people could actually understand the dialog.

Overall, I liked the movie, despite the fact that it got horrible reviews. It was a bit slow at times, but the cinematography was amazing, and the the plot, which for the most part follows the best-selling book (according to Tim) was good. After the movie was over and the credits started rolling, I realized that the solo cello pieces were played by Yo Yo Ma. I concluded that they pretty much rounded up all the famous Asians they found to make this movie.

My mom was going to spend the night at my place, and as we were walking back to the apartment, we saw this cute, small Chinese girl screaming at what we think was her boyfriend. She was obviously mad and didn't care that we were spectators and she was the spectacle. Since my mom was there, we asked her to translate whatever threat the seemingly sweet, but obviously crazy and mad girl was yelling to the poor boyfriend. It was: "If you do this again, you will DIE an UGLY DEATH!" We thought that was pretty funny and Tim was thankful that despite being Asian, I am not a bitchy Asian. He is a lucky guy indeed.

It was hard to sleep at night, as my mom is a much worse snoorer than I remember. Not only that, like all old people, she gets up at the crack of dawn. That morning was no different. She got up at around 5am, and tiptoed to the bathroom, laptop under her arm, lest she would wake me up (I live in a studio). At 8am, I wake up to find her sitting on the toilet in my bathroom, playing MAH JONG on Yahoo! Games.

Kids Say the Darnest Things

Tim and I are back from AZ, after spending three days around 5 kids, all under 3 and 1 8-year old.

1) This one comes from Mckenzie, Tim's little niece from Tennesee (who asked me if my name was Kelly or "MISS Kelly").

I took her to the bathroom to go potty. Mckenzie sat on the toilet for two seconds, got up and said: "I'm done." I'm like: "What do you mean, you're done? You haven't even gone!" to which she nonchalantly replies: "It just won't come out!"

2) Upon hearing me call Tim "Timothy," Drew (Tim's son) asked me: "Why do you call him "Timothy? Is it just to humiliate him?" (he obviously thought Tim was Tim's real name and made it known that he thinks "Timothy" is an ugly name.

Into the World of White Peeps

It's true. By marrying Tim, I have fallen deeper into the abyss of the world of white peeps. Not only will I carry the name "Sale" and have a jar of pickles in my fridge, but now, I will also have one of those cheesy studio-made portraits; or worse yet, I will be the subject of one of those lame pics that people put in gold picture frames right next to little glass bells and Hallmark Precious Moments figurines.

It all started when Tim apologetically told me that next week, when we go to Arizona for a pre-Xmas weekend, we would be taking a family pic. That in itself made me cringe. You see, Asian people would never SPEND the money to have a real photographer take a professional picture. Not only that, my Asian peeps are too reserved and awkward to pose in front of a studio camera.

And tonight, I just found out that I will have to comply with a strict dress code, namely two sets of choices: jeans or khakis and white or denim shirt. When asked "WHY, oh WHY" it would have to be that way, we were told that "it looks better when everybody looks the same." Sometimes I wonder if they remember that I'm Asian.

The case of the maroon turtleneck

When I worked at a well-known software company, my friend Lauren and I would amuse ourselves by making fun of all the geeks and the odd things they do. We would also call out all the "visual offenses" (as Lauren called them) we saw. We would dream of metal detector-type machines that would be installed in front of all building doors, sounding off alarms for all geeks that wore socks with Tevas or Taz-mania slippers. For the worst fashion offenders, however, such as those wearing red (Dolce) leather pants, skinny 9-inch ponytails of greasy hair, 1980's high-top black Reeboks or had their last names tatooed on their arms, a mini-cage would drop down from the ceiling, thus imprisoning those who are a menace to the fashion world and the social world in general.

When I started working at an advertising agency, I was relieved to see that I was going to be surrounded by the new JCrew/Banana Republic fall collection and an occasional Dolce and Gabanna ensemble (not the leather pants though).

So you will understand my shock when somebody, SOMEBODY showed up at work with nothing less and nothing more than a maroon turtleneck underneath an oversize Cosby sweater! I was speechless, perplexed, offended, indignant. Since then, the maroon turtleneck/Cosby sweater duo has made several other (unwelcomed) appearances, much to my dismay.