Faith Hill Gets Pissed

For those of you who thought she had it all (sexy man, beautiful children, looks, fortune, etc), you'll get a kick out of this:

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=5560

The Second BEST Xmas Present EVER (after the trip to Barcelona)

For the past several months, I have been probing Diesel to see what he would get me for Xmas. That entailed all tactics you can think of, from subtly pointing to things that I wanted to shamelessly and blatantly requesting this or that. I also enlisted help from a few trusted friends with good taste to make sure that Diesel was being watched and didn't get me GEAR or anything UGLY. And finally, the day came.

This Christmas, I got...

(drumroll)

(Hallelluiah song)

A GREEN IPOD NANO!

(applause)

Yes, another one! In addition to the one he gave me for my birthday, but I lost (or perhaps it got stolen).

I am very happy indeed!

And before you accuse me of losing everything--which I will be the first to admit, is a very reasonable accusation--I'd like to defend myself by saying that when Diesel lived in the ghetto, I often had to hide all my valuables around his house when we left for trips. So the laptop would end up under the bed, the iPod in the bathroom, my earrings in the flour container, and so forth.

Until one day, when I couldn't find it. Where I lost it (or it got stolen) is still unclear, but I'm pretty sure it is still hidden somewhere in his house in the ghetto. The only other explanation is that it got stolen, because I would never lose such a treasured present. And who in the world would want an iPod loaded with Britney Spears and Ricky Martin songs anyway?

Ugly Xmas Sweater Party

It was a hit. And by hit I mean, there was some SERIOUS UGLY scattered around our living room. Many ugly sweaters, but the first prize went to BJ, who went all out with his festively horrendous outfit. Yes, he did create quite a commotion as other guests disputed his first-prize title, since he was NOT actually wearing a sweater.

But in the end, ugliness trumped fairness.

Here are some pics from the event:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/14628299@N00/sets/72157594433293009/

On Throwing My 4-Year Old Niece into a Cactus

(WAIT! I have an excuse)

Last weekend we went to AZ to visit Tim's parents in AZ. His sister Kelly, her husband, and her 3 kids were there as well.

It was fun hanging out with the kids that can talk and walk, Drew and McKenzie. McKenzie and I are pretty good buddies, so after an afternoon of rock climbing with the kids, she asked me if I'd go with her on a walk around the hood. Fine with me, after gaining 5 pounds lately, I have been in need of exercise, even if it's walking slowly next to a preschooler.

So I had this great idea that I would make the walk interactive and we would walk around the cacti, ya know, to make myself feel good about teaching my niece about plants.

As we turned a corner in which there were two cacti, I heard McKenzie scream, so I immediately turned around. There they were: two cacti balls, one attached to her little leg and the other attached to her even littleer hand. PANIC! The poor kid! My first reaction was to grab the prickly balls with my bear hands and throw them the other direction. So I did. BAD idea. Next thing I know, I got cactus on my hand, while awkwardly trying to rid my niece of the damn thing!

All the while, the poor kid was crying and screaming, and I felt very bad indeed for her...and guilty. And even after I had pulled all the prickly pieces off of her, and started pulling them off of me, she would scream and cry for me...

The next day we went for a hike with Drew, Tim's dad and McKenzie. Every time there was a cactus, the little girl would balk. And freeze. I mean, she had been seriously traumatized by the experience. And then Tim's dad did something AMAZING. Something that only somebody who raised three kids (and a kid like Tim, nonetheless) would know to do. He asked McKenzie: "Well, you're wearing all pink, aren't you?" She nodded. He goes: "Well, cactus cannot go through PINK!" I just thought that was a genious move and it did help.

So I am destined to forever be the "aunt who threw her niece into a cactus." It's very sad, but one day I will tell little McKenzie this tragic story and she will laugh her little butt off...I hope.

At least she told me before I left that she still likes me.

My Favorite New Show

So I have not followed any TV dramas in several years. With the season's new shows and the ability to watch ALL of the hit ABC shows online with limited commercial breaks (go to www.abc.com), this has changed.

I have discovered the BEST new TV drama, heck, BEST TV show this season: Day Break. I am also glad that Taye Diggs is finally on a show that will not be canceled. He's awesome and so is his new show. Check it out.

The Best Present EVER

Almost exactly two years ago, Diesel gave me the BEST Xmas present EVER. And as we all know, it wasn't just the present, it was also the presentation.

Diesel took me to a nice dinner at one of our favorite Seattle restaurants, the Harvest Vine. It's a cozy little restaurant in Madison Park where we like to sit at the bar and watch the chefs make updated versions of classic Spanish tapas. After a delicious meal, he gave me my Xmas present. I was unimpressed with the card. Was that it??? He said some nice things, blah, blah, blah, and then..."the one thing we haven't done together is go on a loong, nice vacation. This is why I have gotten us tickets to go to BARCELONA in February."

I was floored. That was the best present EVER! Barcelona is by far my favorite city in all of Europe. And I was going there again, with Diesel. On the other hand, I was also sad. There was no way Diesel would ever top himself. No future Xmas present would ever be good enough.

Anyhow, so the point is, he was able to get a good deal on the tickets due to the SAS specials that they run every Xmas. This is how it works: on each of the 24 days leading up the Xmas, SAS has a great deal on tickets to one selected European city. This year it's $299 each way.

So this year, now that we're married and all, and I don't even get an argyle sweater (read about how Diesel didn't get me an argyle sweater here), I figured there would be no surprise trip and decided to take it upon myself to make myself happy with a little vacation. The best part is that now that we're married, my money is still mine, and his money is mine as well. So it works out pretty well for me, financially speaking.

As I was navigating the page, I had my TV on the PBS Rick Steves special. He was going on about how Prague is amazing city. When I lived in Germany, I had a couple of chances to go to Prague, but somehow never made it. I always regretted it. Anyhow, so as Rick was all singing praises about Prague, the SAS special for today was finally revealed: PRAGUE!

Coincidence? I think not. In fact, I think it was a sign. I emergency-called Diesel. My idea was shot down. Apparently we need to save money. "Why, oh why?," I ask.

I keep telling myself that Diesel will indeed read this and get us tickets to go to Prague and surprise me on Xmas eve. Unfortunately, I have an inkling that this will not happen. Now that we're married there is less incentive to impress me, or maybe no incentive at all.

Somebody Stole Our Idea...

Or maybe we stole theirs.

So Diesel and I decided to throw our first Xmas party at the new condo. We are VERY excited about it. After careful deliberation, we decided to go for a theme, and we chose "UGLY Xmas Sweater Party," where our fab friends will show up with their most ugly and disgusting wardrobe pieces, and we can all laugh at each other.

Lauren said she didn't have an ugly Xmas sweater, but she could wear her husband's ugly Cosby sweater. This statement instigated some deeper investigation on our part, as I tried to google her a pic of a classic Cosby sweater. In googling this, I ran accross this site:

http://www.darthvato.com/cosbysweater.html

Awesome, isn't it???

Good Riddance

"The only thing that's gonna be left after a nuclear holocaust is Cher and cockroaches."

This was once said in reference to the resilience of two of the world's ugliest and nastiest creatures.

So the other day Diesel and I went to Goodwill to donate several of our winter sweaters. There were about 30 pieces of clothing altogether. We dropped it off, and upon getting off our car, I saw them. Staring at me. Mocking me. There they were: the VINYL PANTS.

For those who haven't known my husband for very long, there was a time where he was a pseudo rock star. And during this tumultuous identity crisis, he purchased a pair of what he thought at the time to be the MOST AWESOME pants. VINYL. SHINY. BLACK. UGLY. NASTY. UGH.

Vinyl pants were NEVER in, unlike their close cousins, but equally nasty, the leather pants for men. And even then, those were only semi cool-looking on old and crusty gay German men with chicken legs.

But I digress...

So there they were. One of the world's ironies. The most despised piece of clothing in the pile REMAINED. Like Cher and the cockroaches.