And the Ugly Shirt Has Begotten...

Today, a friend of mine sent me an article about the fact that somebody who works in this Fashion-God-forsaken company was nominated by a Seattle magazine as the most fashionable man in the city.

On the same day, I overheard the following conversation in our kitchen at work:

Geek-ette #1: “Wow! I REALLY like your shirt!”
Geek-ette #2 (wearing a YELLOW, CHECKERED MAN’S SHIRT): “Oh really? Thanks!”
Geek-ette #1: “I wish I had a shirt like THAT! Well…you probably didn't get it here…you probably got it in...don’t tell me…in CHINA! [yes, the fashion capital of the world]”
Geek-ette #2: “YEAH! I got it in CHINA! I can get you one! Just give me your size; next time my parents are in town I can ask them to get you one.”
Geek-ette #1 (ecstatic): "Thanks! I'd really like that!"
Geek-ette #2: Yeah, I myself have tons of shirts like this! I could wear them for a month without doing my laundry!

I'm CONCERNED. The think that a breed of ugly shirt has begotten many more like and taken over Geek-ette's 2 closet and is now about to expand into Geek-ette's 1 wardrobe! The thought of seeing not one, but TWO geek-ettes wearing the same horrendous yellow shirt just killed ANY hope of fashion in this place…

UNACCEPTABLE Behavior in the Workplace

Top 10 list of aberrations of social behavior in the workplace that must be EXPOSED, MOCKED and ultimately ABOLISHED/PUNISHED for the safety and sanity of others:

1) Not bothering to lock your stall when you are using the toilet. This is a case where clearly YOUR business is nobody else’s business
2) Clipping your crusty toenails in your office (this is especially disgusting if they start flying off into your officemate’s face)
3) Washing your DISGUSTING feet in the bathroom sink
4) Guys: Braiding that long strand of grease you call HAIR
5) Bringing kim chi for lunch and stinking up the communal fridge
6) Taking your laptop into the bathroom stall and TYPING while you do whatever you’re doing
7) Sneaking into work with your kids on the weekends, so you can all spend quality time together STEALING pop
8) Embroidering religious attire with the company logo (such as a yarmulke)
9) Eating cup of noodles and pop for breakfast
10) Showing up in the kitchen with a big jug of dish detergent and shamelessly washing your NASTY beard in the kitchen sink

Beware of the Stinky Tofu

"There should be a kitchen policy against food that smells so bad!," announced my friend Cat, indignant, as she walked out of our floor kitchen.

And then, I inhaled it: the unmistakable smell of my grandma's hope chest. A chest where she kept her traditional silk Chinese dresses, adorned with beautiful embroidery. Along with MOTH BALLS, to keep them from being eaten by cockroaches and such.

So being in a multi-diverse workplace is great, as you get to meet and talk to people of other cultures. However, for those averse to the practice of consuming fish head, chicken feet, stinky tofu, cow brains and such, this means that the kitchen of such multi-diverse workplace becomes the source of horrific smells and even more horrific sights.

Today's perpetrator probably had some fish that has been buried in the ground for a good couple of months and then was mixed with stinky tofu. I say, anything that smells like something that KILLS COCKROACHES should not be allowed in the microwave.

Pepto Bismol Anyone?

This weekend we all headed up to Baker one last time this season. It was the last weekend the resort would be open, so of course that was cause for celebration. There would be some spring skiing/snowboarding, followed by Ron's party (who I must say, I've only met once) and a lot of hanging out.

So much excitement!

Somewhere along the way, though, the excitement died. I can pretty much pinpoint the exact moment when the excitement ended. It was Sat morning, when I woke up feeling uhm, not so good. What started out as a stomach ache turned into fatigue, which turned into two hours of sleeping by myself in the car (while Erica and Emily went snowshoeing), which turned into several hours of puking. Erica took good care of me and after the party started, I was still laying in bed. The last puking incident finally brought Diesel into the picture, and he decided it was best we drove home.

After 15 hrs of sleep, some more hurling and two meals of nothing but Sprite and saltines, I finally felt a lot better.

Today I went to work and somewhere in the conversation, somebody mentioned they were sick all weekend. People started rising up from their cubicles, pointing at each other and saying: "You too???" All in all, 5 of us were sick over the weekend, victims to the same symptoms. John and I slept it off and backstabbing geek (the wimp! If you ask me, he could stand to puke and have diarrhea for a while and lose several pounds) went to the ER. Courtney said she knew she was coming down with something, and proudly waved the bottle of Pepto Bismol that she had been taking. Just as fast we all got into what could have been that got us all sick. While part of the room thought it was the Thai food we all had on Fri, the other half blamed the biscotti they all had. We didn't come to any conclusion. The important part was, after all, that we were all better.

At Work on Sat

I'm finishing up some things at work. Yes, it's sad. Sat, nice, sunny day (which has been rare around these parts), and I'm at work by myself. It's been 4 hrs since I got here...

So the funny part is that my supervisor said that she is trying to get more headcount for this team; however, it's hard for her to make a case for that when Falguni and I are still working BELOW the department average. WHAT THE HELL??? I only see a few people that get here at 8:30 and the floors CERTAINLY clear up as soon as 5:30 rolls around. I've been working my butt off, 10+ hrs a day (with no lunch break and very few bathroom brakes, which must not be good) and now Saturday.

So I think to myself: Are these people LYING? Do these people really WORK FROM HOME as they claim they do? I'm all for believing in the good nature of people, but everything I see leads me to believe that there are some people who are lying about how many hours they work, messing up the department curve and making me look like a slacker.

I will have to do some investigation around here...