Revenge of the Dorks



This weekend Tim and I went to LA for Sara's wedding. Sara is a good friend of Tim's from H.S., and on top of being nice and cute, she apparently was the first non-mormon Homecoming Queen in an almost all-mormon high school.

The wedding was nice and simple. It was in a little Spanish-style courtyard, and the groom, a musician, played the piano and sang for his bride.

After the ceremony, Tim and I found ourselves at an empty 8-person table. For about 30 min we were the only people at the table. To make matters worse, Sara's grandma took pity on us and invited us to sit with the 60+ year-old crowd. We gracefully declined, secretly hoping that at least one other person would sit next to us. After about 40 min, the restaurant contingent showed up. These were the groom's restaurant colleagues. Our table companions were quite the collection of characters. A vegetarian chef named Mijon and a waiter whose claim to fame was his supposed friendship with the guy who supplies pot to Bellingham snowboarders. There was also Brian (or was it Ryan?), a hot videographer who was working on a British reality show.

Anyhow, there was also a girl, let's call her Dirty Bird. Dirty Bird put the moves on Tim as she reminisced about their post-graduation trip to Mexico. She kept asking Tim if he remembered how they all slept in the car together (which is an odd question, because she ended up hooking up with some guy down in Mexico and spent the night somewhere else), and blah, blah, blah. In a shocking moment, she revealed she was actually engaged (and introduced her fiance), all the while flirting with Tim.

After one of the dances, Dirty Bird, who had been eyeing Tim, approached him from the back and caressed it. Now you might be thinking I'm overreacting, but I knew dirty Bird was up to something. Right before we left, Dirty Bird rushed towards Tim, grabbed his hand and took him to the room next door. After about 10 min Tim came back and told me that she insisted on getting his e-mail, and how great his gf was, and blah, blah, blah. What can I say, Dirty Bird was shady.

Tim was flattered, of course, as guys always are. They all need their ego stroked instead of being put in their place, where they deserve to be. Anyhow, apparently Dirty Bird didn't like Tim in H.S. because he was a bit dorky. So imagine Tim's satisfaction to see Dirty Bird again after 10 years, 50 pounds heavier, engaged to a baffoon with a premature receding hairline, having had a kid out of deadlock and desparetly trying to seduce him. That was quite the revenge.